the difference between dogs and cats

A Derelict Dog Mom

Why is it that when you feed the cats fifteen minutes later than you fed them the day before, they fight with each other as if it’s a deathmatch?

“It’s your fault we’re starving! It’s always your fault!” one seems to say as he swats the other across the face.

“Hey, if you don’t shut up, I’ll have you for breakfast, asshole.” The other hunches up, prepared to present claws.

And then fur flies.

With dogs, if you don’t feed them within six hours after you usually feed them, they’re all looking at you like, “Hey, excuse me. Um, I was wondering if you noticed that anything was wrong here.”

And then they might crawl under the coffee table as if they were in trouble for chewing the phone cable, which was the cat’s fault anyway.

Two more hours might pass and the dog might pace back and forth in front of you for a bit. You’d let them out and they’d stand there as if they’d been kicked out of the house instead of let out to pee.

“Would you mind,” they seem to say, “if I had something to eat today. I’m really rather hungry and I promise never to look at the phone cable again while the cat chews it if you don’t want me to.”

And you can let him back in. He’ll slide under the coffee table for another hour or so.

Then finally, when your husband comes home, your dog will stare soulfully into his eyes for a bit. Males really do know how to read each other, especially when it comes to food.

“What’s for dinner, hon?” your husband might say.

“I don’t know. I’ve had a busy day and I kind of forgot to make a plan for dinner.”

Then your good-natured husband will get up and shuffle into the kitchen to see what he can kludge together for a meal. Your dog will quietly follow him, head hanging. You’ll sit there and stare into space while he works and the old movie he turned on blares on the television.

But your mind will light up when you hear kibbles being scooped up and dropped into the dog’s bowl.

“Are you hungry?” your husband mumbles.

And you’ll know that all the times your dog stood in front of you that day had been a plea for kibbles that should have been delivered with the cats’ meals promptly at 6:23am.

Thank you for listening, jules